I don’t trust beavers.
Beavers have long been glorified in this country. They’re on the back of the modest 5¢ piece. Their pelts became the backbone of Canada’s fur trade. They have nice flappy tails. They are busy. Busy.
But have a look at what they are doing! I thought about children walking around in the dark in Hermitage Park, without flashlights. They wouldn’t see the spires of shaved tree stumps, like horrible jungle tiger pits, pock-marking the pristine river bank. Thank god we don’t have children ourselves – I couldn’t bear the thought of their tripping and impaling themselves.
Which reminds me of all dangers children face. Sidewalks should be gently sloped into the street so they are not tempted to curb stomp their little friends. Trees should all have steel rings and mesh up to the first branches, to prevent the inevitable accidental hanging. Ropes should only be in three foot lengths, and only sold to responsible adults – who must go through rigorous responsibility training.
The dangers are myriad.
Children are naturally ignorant, and it is our responsibility to keep them from harm. We cannot trust other people to raise our children. We cannot leave them alone for a single second. The only solution is tethering ourselves to our children and speak softly to them in comforting tones.